One of my favorite people, Brené Brown has been studying shame and its impact on our lives for more than ten years. A few years ago, she did an interview with Oprah that really stuck with me. In this interview, she talks about some specific steps that help her overcome shame every single day.

She starts off by discussing her acknowledgment of trigger points. She describes how she has come to recognize certain things that are catalysts to producing shame and talks about her tools to avoid them. Then, she moves into talking about the three steps to move past shame.

Her first step relates to her inner voice. She talks about treating your inner voice like you would treat your voice towards people you love. Talking to yourself should be similar to talking to a child or loved one. For example, you would never tell a child that they’re stupid or ugly; nor should you tell yourself that.

Her second step is to reach out to somebody you trust. Find somebody that you can confidently divulge information to. Doing this will create a safe space for you to talk about and deal with your shame.

Her third and final step is to talk about the shame. My favorite thing she says is that, “shame cannot survive being spoken. When you think about it, this is so true, Anytime we face or struggle with an issue, our first instinct is to talk about it. The most important thing, though is to do it in a space that is safe and comfortable. This is the place where you can most effectively move past your shame.

You can see the video here.

Citation: Okura, Lynn. “Brené Brown’s 3 Steps To Break The Cycle Of Shame (VIDEO).” The Huffington Post. TheHuffingtonPost.com, n.d. Web. 14 June 2016.