Apologies can be very difficult, so here are some simple steps to break it down. Follow these steps to apologize for anything.

Step 1: Express Remorse

Every apology needs to start with two magic words: “I’m sorry,” or “I apologize.” This is essential, because these words express remorse over your actions.

For example, you could say: “I’m sorry that I snapped at you yesterday. I feel embarrassed and ashamed by the way I acted.”

Your words need to be sincere and authentic. Be honest with yourself, and with the other person, about why you want to apologize. Never make an apology when you have ulterior motives, or if you see it as a means to an end

Timeliness is also important here. Apologize as soon as you realize that you’ve wronged someone else.

Step 2: Admit Responsibility

Next, admit responsibility for your actions or behavior, and acknowledge what you did.

Here, you need to empathize with the person you wronged, and demonstrate that you understand how you made them feel.

Don’t make assumptions – instead, simply try to put yourself in that person’s shoes and imagine how they felt.

For example: “I know that I hurt your feelings yesterday when I snapped at you. I’m sure this embarrassed you, especially since everyone else on the team was there. I was wrong to treat you like that.”

Step 3: Make Amends

When you make amends, you take action to make the situation right.

Here are two examples:

• “If there’s anything that I can do to make this up to you, please just ask.”
• “I realize that I was wrong to doubt your ability to chair our staff meeting. I’d like you to lead the team through tomorrow’s meeting to demonstrate your skills.”

Think carefully about this step. Token gestures or empty promises will do more harm than good. Because you feel guilty, you might also be tempted to give more than what’s appropriate – so be proportionate in what you offer.

Step 4: Promise That it Won’t Happen Again

Your last step is to explain that you won’t repeat the action or behavior.

This step is important because you reassure the other person that you’re going to change your behavior. This helps you rebuild trust and repair the relationship.

You could say: “From now on, I’m going to manage my stress better, so that I don’t snap at you and the rest of the team. And, I want you to call me out if I do this again.”

Make sure that you honor this commitment in the days or weeks to come – if you promise to change your behavior, but don’t follow through, others will question your reputation and your trustworthiness.

Citation: “How to Apologize: Asking for Forgiveness Gracefully.” How to Apologize. N.p., n.d. Web. 12 July 2016.